Almost NYE

It's nearly midnight...I'm tired but not sleepy.  I want nothing more than to be able to go to sleep.  I think it's time for a little help from Nyquil.  It's got to be healthier than booze, right?  Of course, a shot of whipped cream vodka does sound pretty good right about now.  Might ease the pain in my knee...and my heart?

What a Fab Vacay This Has Been

Holy crap!  This vacation has sucked.  Started out with a cold on Day One.  Then, yesterday we rented a storage unit to start dividing and moving stuff from the house.  While moving boxes around in the garage, I had a box in my arms and was stepping over some stuff...only I didn't step high enough or far enough.  Fell flat on the concrete garage floor.  My right knee hit first and took all of my fat-ass weight on it.  Box went flying as I dropped it to catch myself.  My knee immediately swelled up like a balloon.  Put ice on and moved into the house.  Swelling wouldn't go down and it looked horribly deformed and hurt like the dickens.  So, I decided I should probably go have it checked out.

STBX drove me to Urgent Care and dropped me off.  TWO HOUR WAIT!  He went back and finished filling the back of the car and unloaded at storage while I waited as patiently as I could in the Petri-Dish.  I continued to ice my knee because it still was hurting like a bitch.  Finally, after just OVER two hours, I got called back to a room.  Nurse did her vitals on me (kinda dumb since I wasn't sick) and then left me to wait another 20 minutes for the doctor to grace me with his presence.  He decided, based on where the swelling was, that it was possible I had broken the kneecap and ordered x-rays.

Good news...not broken!  He wrapped it with an Ace bandage and told me to stay off it for a couple days as much as I could and keep icing it until swelling went down.  If it was still bothering me after a week or so, then I would need an MRI to check for other damage.

Because of my impromptu doctor visit, we had to cancel and reschedule the appointment with the lawyer.  We had the kids at day care yesterday so we could go see the lawyer.  Grrrrr!

So, then we go see the lawyer this morning.  Got paperwork started for the divorce.  Very mixed emotions going on with that event.

In the meantime, my eyes started itching like crazy.  I noticed after getting out of the shower this morning that my left eye was pretty red.  I put some Visine in it and called it good.  Not good enough.  Seeing as how I had some students out with pink eye just before the vacation started and the itchiness and redness was getting worse, I called my own doctor.  NO WAY was I going to go back to the Petri-Dish for another 2 hour wait. Luckily, I did not have to go in and see him.  He just called in a prescription for me.

So, now my knee is swollen and black and blue, my ribs hurt from the fall, my eyes are red and itchy and I'm stuffed up from a head cold.  The STBX has gone out with friends 3 or 4 times so far this break.  The only time I've been able to see my BFFD is with kids around.  Tomorrow is New Year's Eve.  Granted, my mother-in-law is coming over to babysit (since the STBX has a date with a party bus), but I have NO WHERE to go and no one to spend it with!

What a freaking fabulous vacation!  I can't WAIT to get back to work!

Blah...

Feeling incredibly BLAH today.  It's finally snowing today.  Better late than never for the holidays.  It was supposed to be all rain today.  Rain would have fit my mood better, so I guess the snow is good to keep me from falling in too deep.  I wish I could crawl into a hole and sleep.  I know this is depression talking and I need to keep moving on.  Blissful, silent, deep, forgetful sleep.  My STBX to out at the library with the boy child for some family board game time.  The girl child is sleeping.  I know if I fall asleep, she will wake up as soon as I nod off.  So, I'm trying to keep awake.  Sure, I could begin cleaning out the office in preparation for packing up crap to ship off to storage to get ready for putting the house on the market.  I could do some laundry, seeing as how my STBX who usually does all the household laundry has decided, without telling me, that he's not doing my laundry this week.  The hamper is overflowing and he's done everyone elses laundry, so I get the passive-aggressive hint.  I'll do my own flipping laundry.  Geez!

Girl child just got up.  She's sorting and counting her fruit snacks.  Why can't life be so simple like that?  Now that she's up, I promised her we'd play "beauty shop" and paint her nails.  Hopefully that will brighten up my mood.  Maybe I should paint my nails some bright color too...can't hurt.

Phone just rang... we have an appointment with the lawyer on Thursday at 1:30 get divorce paperwork filled out and filed.  No turning back now...

Ahhhhh...some quiet time

Well, I survived Christmas without breaking down in tears or swearing at anyone.  The kids actually slept in until nearly 8:00!  They opened their stocking stuffers, had a bowl of cereal and then got serious about opening their other gifts from under the tree.  They genuinely seemed to like everything that was purchased for them.  Thankfully they did not notice that Mommy had no gifts to open.  That would have been really uncomfortable.  Thank you for being so egocentric at this age kids!  This was one time I do appreciate that quality.  After gifts were opened and being played with, I made dinner AND lunch.  Go me!  After lunch the kids both actually lay down and slept for a bit (Mommy too).  No movies for us since we did take naps.  After naps they played some more and Skyped with my parents (who were out at my sister's house for the holiday this year).  They played some more, had dinner, watched a video and went to bed for the night.  I really wanted to crack open a bottle of wine for myself, but I've still got this damn head cold.  Last thing I need is for it to get worse.  I'm hoping to be better by NYE so I can maybe knock back a few that night.  No plans yet, but the soon-to-be-ex has his "party bus" plans.  Go him.  My MIL is willing to come over to babysit.  Now I just need to figure out something to do and somewhere to go so I don't feel even more lame than I already to.  Sitting home while STBX (soon-to-be-ex) is out on a party bus whooping it up just seems pathetic.  I mean, the kids will be in bed by 8:00 so that leaves me too many hours to contemplate just how pathetic I really am.  Their normal bedtime during school is 7:00, so pushing it until 8 can be tough unless I want some super-whiny and crabby kids to deal with.  No thanks.

Wow, was I rambling on and on today...

Just looked at the clock.  Time to get a move on.  Going to meet up at the community center with kids and STBX to take them swimming.  Hoping that will inspire them to take naps this afternoon again.  I could use one myself...

Christmas Eve

Wow, I've got so many mixed emotions going on today.  Is it any wonder I slept about 14 hours last night and still managed an hour nap this afternoon?  What a bittersweet time of year this is for me this year.  I keep thinking about last holiday season...when life seemed "normal".  I keep thinking about next holiday season and how I'll be divorced and living in a different house and might not even have my kids with me.  That makes me want to cry into an entire bottle of wine.  I've certainly done my share of feeling sorry for myself lately.  The soon-to-be-ex has NYE plans on a party bus with friends.  That leaves me home and alone with the kids.  They'll little so they'll probably be in bed by 8:00...8:30 at the latest.  That leaves me several hours to feel sorry for myself.  I stupidly posted on Facebook (my personal addiction) that I was looking for either a babysitter or for someone to come and commiserate with me at home.  That made me look and feel even more pathetic than I did before.

Kids and I made some delicious peanut butter cookies tonight and we're now anxiously awaiting the arrival of my BFF and her fam.  So thankful to have D and her wonderful kids and husband to help us make this bittersweet time a little less bitter and a bit more sweet.  Thank you D!